Today was sorta a productive day, called the doctor, did my washing, did some web coding, more than usual for a "holiday mode" slacker like me. I don't mind coding you know, I avoid it like the plague a lot these days but when I get something done it always makes you feel like you've accomplished something. I think I just got torn down from use to happen at my old jobs where I'd get all these odds and ends and have to fix shit and fill gaps but never actually get to make something decent from conception to finished product, I mean even in web apps for my old work I was never allowed to do anything 100% as some senior dev would have to "finish it up" or something. More like make me do the easy boring crap than ride in and do the bits that are interesting and/or worth learning, crackers.

Also my TAFE project tore me down, considering I had to do 80% of the design/coding/testing of that fucker myself and then constantly check the other 20% it was a real nightmare.

So now after all my early adulthood of wanting to be a programmer I end up disliking it to the point I get stressed about even making something for myself, and now I could make some money out of it I sit around and turn down contract/one off jobs which surprisingly come around to me about 3 or 4 times a year. God if only I was getting those offers when I was 19!

What am I ever going to do with myself, I'm still trying to figure that one out. Hopefully this year I will.