Geeeerrrrahhh, every rejection email I get from grad programs are like a light kick in the balls, at first you think "wow that didn't hurt at all" only to discover moments later that you are sitting down, out of breath going "oww!". Ok not really, but you catch my drift, I dunno, it doesn't really matter that I am getting rejections, I realise that I am just not suited to every job, and because I don't have excellent marks I will often be rejected at the first stages, but it doesn't make it any easier to take rejection, or to pick yourself up and keep going.

I am dreading getting rejections from the places i've had initial success at, making it over all those hurdles to only be knocked on my ass because I didn't give a suitable answer or because compared to other graduates I suck. I am starting to get really nervous about going to Sydney on Wednesday for my interview/assessment centre Thursday, I'm trying to do some things to make myself more confident, memorizing answers to potential behavourial questions, making sure I know how I can relate what I wrote in my application/resume to the job/business I am going for, doing practice psychometric tests, practicing doing impromptu presentations, but doing this takes a lot of time out of the day and unfortuently I am flat chat doing school work I have been neglecting since I started getting serious about all the graduate program stuff. I hope by the time I wake up Thursday morning I will be moderately relaxed and prepared for what I am going to undertake.

I don't know why I am putting myself through all this bullshit, some days I wake up and feel like going "fuck it" and just stop trying, I know guys at uni that have done that after only a few applications and subsequent rejections. But I have to keep going, I have to learn to deal with rejection, I have to become stronger at doing things like this, I have to grow.