10 things you don't say/do to serp if your calling his work's support line.
1. Don't say you have been on hold for an hour when infact you have been on hold for 10 minutes and it "seems" like you have been on hold for an hour.
2. After saying No. 1 and being caught out, don't lie and say you have been calling 4 or 5 times this evening and haven't got through, I can tell when you are trying to cover your arse.
3. When I ask what modem you have, don't say "The one you sent me" *I* didn't send you anything, my workplace did, and yes we have been sending out modems since the dawn of ADSL in Australia, so don't assume that we have been sending one type of modem out for the last 7 or 8 or whatever years.
4. Just because you have spoken to someone from my workplace who has an accent from the sub-continent, doesn't mean our call centre is located in India.
5. Don't start asking me questions to try and 'trick' me into telling you that our call centre is in India (when it is clearly not).
6. Just because I don't have an OS accent don't start slagging off my work mates as being "Curry Munchers" or something just as 'clever', those guys are my mates and most of them work very hard, they can also manage to chew gum and keep their internet connections going, fancy that?
7. If you ask where our call centre is located in Australia and I am kind enough to answer, don't immediately start handing out insults about Victorians or telling me that our weather sucks.
8. Don't tell me you have powercycled your modem 4 times while you've been on hold and don't want to do it when I suggest to do it. I'm going to make you do it anyway and 50% of the time it fixes your problem.
9. If you are not an account holder, don't try to lie to me and act like you are, because when you get caught out you get annoyed and start carrying on and plead with me to help you. Well perhaps if you had been honest from the start......
10. Please don't scream at your kids/partner/parents/siblings while you are talking to me on the phone, fucking turn your head, put your hand over the reciever and then scream, you are causing me permanent ear damage.
PS - I got pulled over by the cops tonight on the way home, I have to walk down a bunch of back alleys to get there and they pulled me over about 50 metres from home. I thought they were pretty rude to me but looking back on it I wasn't very forth coming with information, ie. when they asked me "What I was doing down this alleyway?" I should have answered "I just finished work at midnight, caught a train home left the station a few minutes ago and I'm going home to my beautiful girlfriend" instead of saying "Going home".
Oh well.
1. Don't say you have been on hold for an hour when infact you have been on hold for 10 minutes and it "seems" like you have been on hold for an hour.
2. After saying No. 1 and being caught out, don't lie and say you have been calling 4 or 5 times this evening and haven't got through, I can tell when you are trying to cover your arse.
3. When I ask what modem you have, don't say "The one you sent me" *I* didn't send you anything, my workplace did, and yes we have been sending out modems since the dawn of ADSL in Australia, so don't assume that we have been sending one type of modem out for the last 7 or 8 or whatever years.
4. Just because you have spoken to someone from my workplace who has an accent from the sub-continent, doesn't mean our call centre is located in India.
5. Don't start asking me questions to try and 'trick' me into telling you that our call centre is in India (when it is clearly not).
6. Just because I don't have an OS accent don't start slagging off my work mates as being "Curry Munchers" or something just as 'clever', those guys are my mates and most of them work very hard, they can also manage to chew gum and keep their internet connections going, fancy that?
7. If you ask where our call centre is located in Australia and I am kind enough to answer, don't immediately start handing out insults about Victorians or telling me that our weather sucks.
8. Don't tell me you have powercycled your modem 4 times while you've been on hold and don't want to do it when I suggest to do it. I'm going to make you do it anyway and 50% of the time it fixes your problem.
9. If you are not an account holder, don't try to lie to me and act like you are, because when you get caught out you get annoyed and start carrying on and plead with me to help you. Well perhaps if you had been honest from the start......
10. Please don't scream at your kids/partner/parents/siblings while you are talking to me on the phone, fucking turn your head, put your hand over the reciever and then scream, you are causing me permanent ear damage.
PS - I got pulled over by the cops tonight on the way home, I have to walk down a bunch of back alleys to get there and they pulled me over about 50 metres from home. I thought they were pretty rude to me but looking back on it I wasn't very forth coming with information, ie. when they asked me "What I was doing down this alleyway?" I should have answered "I just finished work at midnight, caught a train home left the station a few minutes ago and I'm going home to my beautiful girlfriend" instead of saying "Going home".
Oh well.
posted by serp at 1:06 AM
1 Comments:
it's your own fault for acting suspiciously (ie. being out after dark) and basically entirely like a terrorist (ie. walking)
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